God is always God…

“”I wanted everything I said or did to become an act of worship. What I had become aware of thrillingly and exclusively, was a holiness that is wholeness! It includes everything the human heart at its best craves, everything the human mind in its greatest moments reaches after, everything the authentic self needs for its fulfillment,” “The Captivating Presence” by Albert Edward Day

I’m sure by now, the few of you that actually read this, are tired of me talking about how great life in Rovieng is and how inspired I have become by this whole experience. I will admit, my blogs have been further apart due to my settling into a routine, one that doesnt seem to included blogging. But in a conversation with a friend today I realized that the routine that I have fallen into isn’t one filled with monotony and boredom but rather one of feeling complete and full.

I just finished the book “Nickel and Dimed” in which the author leaves her live in the upper 20% to work jobs of low wage earners. (making roughly 6-7 dollars an hour in 2001) What I found more than a little saddening was that these people, though they managed to get some pride from their work, all had jobs simply so they could live. You may be thinking to yourself, well duh, thats the reason all of us work, well most of us anyway.

I guess I just feel overly blessed to be doing something that I genuinely love, gives me joy, allows me to interact with people, not punch a time clock, and that is able to give me this feeling of wholeness. I honestly feel guilty somedays thinking that I get paid to do what I do, because to me it doesn’t seem like work. Yes there can be stress, meetings, paper work, and a list of things that “regular jobs” require but it all seems like just a blip in the grand scale of what I get to do.

I also wonder too if this has anything to do with where I am. Life here moves slower, ad focuses more on relational aspects as opposed to time = money. When I get back to the US will i be expected to move back into this world of a face paced life, being judge not on the relationships I can acquire but on the amount of “work” I am able to do in an 8 hour day? I could handle a nice balance of the two, but this fear looms over me as my time here becomes less and less. Will I be “fit for work” back home, or will I have to readjust everything, losing part of what I feel i have gained while being here?

I’m not sure there are answers to these questions, past the simple, its up to the way you choose to live your life. Two things I know for sure, 1. I was not made for a 9-5 job, just about anyone who knows me can attest to this. And 2. I never want to work in an atmosphere devoid of the opportunities to build meaningful relationships, for example, behind a partion somewhere crunching numbers. Not that there is anything at all wrong with working these jobs, I just feel that my strengths may just lie out side the walls of these particular restraints.

Above all else one thing is for certain, no matter what happens in the future, I am confident that, as Albert Day says, God is Always God. I can plant my hopes and fears about the future in the unchangeable nature of God. This is where my hope comes from, that no matter what I do wholeness can be found in the holiness of God.

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